Why We Fall for Those Who Dont Fall for Us ?

Have you ever fallen for someone who didn’t feel the same way? You know it’s a bad idea, but you still hope. You replay their words in your head, searching for hidden meanings. A smile, a kind message, a little attention—it all feels like proof that maybe, just maybe, they care too.

But deep down, you know the truth. They don’t see you the way you see them. And yet, you hold on, waiting, wondering, wishing.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we chase love that doesn’t chase us back? Let’s talk about it.

1. We Want What We Can’t Have

There’s something about wanting something just out of reach. The more unavailable someone is, the more desirable they seem.

“We don’t always love the person. Sometimes, we love the challenge.”

2. Love Feels Like a Drug

When we fall for someone, our brain releases dopamine, the same chemical that makes us feel good after eating chocolate or winning a game. Every little interaction—a text, a glance, a small compliment—gives us a hit of dopamine.

“Rejection doesn’t just hurt emotionally—it actually activates the same part of the brain as physical pain.”

3. The Trap of False Hope

A. The ‘What If’ Illusion

You think: “Maybe they’ll change their mind.” But if someone truly wanted you, they wouldn’t need convincing.

“If someone wants you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.”

B. Fear of Letting Go

Letting go feels like losing. It feels like admitting defeat. But here’s the thing: holding on to something that hurts isn’t strength—it’s self-sabotage.

“Sometimes, we hold on because it’s all we’ve known, not because it’s right for us.”

C. The Movie Lie

We grew up watching love stories where the hero never gives up, and in the end, they win the girl (or guy). But in real life, chasing someone who doesn’t want you isn’t romantic—it’s painful.

“Love should feel like home, not like a battlefield.”

What Now?

Unrequited love drains you. It makes you feel like you’re not enough. But the truth is, you are enough—it’s just the wrong person.

At some point, you have to ask yourself:
“Am I holding on because I believe they’ll change, or because I’m scared to move on?”

“Love that is real will never make you feel unwanted.”

Moving on isn’t easy, but staying stuck is worse. The moment you let go, you make room for the love you actually deserve.

And trust me, you deserve better.